BORING: I'm committing blog crime by recounting my memories in a biography.
I'm going to attempt to write a "short" autobiography...
Well I was born in Charleston, South Carolina, United States, Planet Earth.
On August 8th, 1984.
I don't remember anything about my life until one day when I was three or four and was living in Redondo Beach, California. My family and I were living in an apartment and my mother and father were in a fight. I wrote "I love you" on a piece of paper and told my parents to read it to each other. That's my first memory of being alive.
So I went to an elementary school in California and was not given that much attention by the girls but one noted, "You're nice, you're not like the other guys..." Whether that's true or not I dunno. Suffice to say I was shy and quiet.
Went to first grade at same elementary school. Knew a kid named Mike or Clark or something, we played "Marble Madness" for the NES together. At five my parents had me take acting lessons, specifically improv, I think I had been in a state of improving throughout large portions of my life, unknowingly.
Random Note:(My first grade teacher contracted AIDS at some point after I was in his class)
So I took acting lessons but didn't land a job while living in California. I moved to Atlanta, Georgia, where I attended 2nd and 3rd grade and was in the normal classes as well as the gifted classes for those exceptionally smart elementary schoolers...I got straight A's, I attended 2nd and 3rd grade in Atlanta. I got three acting jobs while in Atlanta. And one radio commercial, the acting jobs were two or three episodes of this old tv show and a small part in a made for tv movie and an even smaller part in a regular movie.
There was a girl who lived next door to me in Atlanta, her name was Amanda. She used to flirt with me although I was too young too know what she was doing, and perhaps she was too. She would watch me play Super Mario World and Mario Paint. She was a nice girl.
I hung out with some of the other boys in the neighborhood and we would "luge" lying on our backs on the skateboards down the STEEP driveway of my home, we would slide under the cars on our skateboards, it was fairly dangerous, I can only imagine what would have happened had we hit a tail pipe.
So...I'm just writing as things come to me here.
My first experience with a spider was when I was at an acting audition in Atlanta, I was walking through some shrubs and I pulled my leg out only to discover a brown spider on my leg and I promptly ran around screaming and shaking my leg furiously attempting to get the spider to remove itself. A passerby noted to my mom that she thought I was quite a fine actor, I guess my mom explained to her I wasn't acting.
There were some kids at my school in Atlanta, (Morningside Elementary) not (Morning Star elementary) mind you, that liked X-Men and TMNT. I never got into it and to this day still remain clueless about those two things. I remember in my gifted class we had a computer with Oregon Trail, every once in a while we go to play it.
It was in Atlanta that I got my first and only dog, Becky Thatcher(named after Tom Sawyer's girlfriend), and it was also there that I had my one...and only experience with a ghost.
I was lying in bed when my Great Aunt's ghost came and visited me...she looked me in the eyes with a strange look and touched my hand (I couldn't feel I don't think)...it was the next morning that my family and I found out that she had died just a few nights before.
In 2nd grade, there was a girl who sat behind me who was a tomboy, she always used to annoy the crap outta me, my mom said she musta liked me, I suppose I'll never know.
So I moved from Atlanta where I had attended 2nd and 3rd grade...to Valdosta, Georgia...a town Billie and I are both familiar with. I lived with my mother and grandmother there for a while, and I attended 4th grade there, or the first half of it.
I made my first black friend in Valdosta, Aaron, we played a lot of Aladdin and Road Rash for Sega Genesis. He mentioned he had Playboy once to me, but I didn't know what it was, and was probably too young to be interested.
I did half of my 4th grade school year in Valdosta, at a VERY southern school...I won a spelling bee and I got allowed time off to have fun playing one of those edutainment computer games in the library...I can't remember it now, what it was called, I think there was an Arthur game from the TV show Arthur, but there was another and I can't recall it at present.
I also wrote and illustrated a small story about a giraffe playing basketball...I also mentioned Elvis in one of my earlier fantasy stories...
So, mid-year fourth grade, I moved to Boulder, CO and attended the 2nd half of 4th grade at Whittier elementary school. I live a few blocks from Whittier now. I remember we made sock puppets once at whittier and I remember a conversation me and some other boys were having. About how the boy had slept in the same bed with a girl, (not sex mind you), because she was scared of the dark. He was quite proud of himself, I didn't really understand what the kids were trying to get at, but I remember hating the pride of that boy.
At Whittier they had an EXPANSIVE collection of the Oz stories by Frank L. Baum so I read those all the time from the school library.
I had been skinny all the years listed so far.
Up until I was in 5th grade I was required to read as many hours as I played video games...so I read A LOT...and played a lot. I had to do the reading first.
I read all the classics, mark twain, hg wells, robert louis stevenson, arabian nights, Ursula K Le Guin, Tolkien...everything, can't remember most of it or the authors at this point, but tons.
I remember in 4th grade in Valdosta I read, this time for school, A Wrinkle In Time.
Anyways onto 5th grade.
I was in Boulder, I lived in Harvest Manors, some apartments just down the way from CU at Folsom and Arapahoe...small apartments with no air conditioning...somehow I had gained a lotta weight and was now fat. I started the school I would attend 5-8th grade at, Horizons...
Horizons is a school for "self directed learners," you're supposed to be really "smart" to go there, or more like, really a leftist Boulderite.
I was just a nerd who didn't even know that's what he was yet. The school was for slackers...no grades, just requirements, if you DID a book report you passed, not how good you made the book report.
I didn't do a lotta work...I still passed.
It was in fifth grade that I made my lifelong friend, cohort, and at sometimes rival (in the past anyways), Ben. Quite Ben, with his hippie ponytail and his Be Green t shirt.
He kicked my ass in chess over the course of a school year, about 50 times straight. I've never beat him at chess. And yes, we were in "Chess Club."
It was in 5th grade that I wore lots of tye dye shirts...and listened to my favorite musician at the time, Jimi Hendrix. I also listened to the beatles, bob marley, janis joplin, and the doors.
I considered myself a hippie. I remember I was friends with a similarly minded kid named Jed...
At school a game developed from my victim temperment and meek physical presence.
Afro...
Two playground platforms, a zip line that connected them...the Afronaters on one side,
and Jed my protecter, and me, the Afro on the other.
The goal, to push me off the playground platforms...for some reason I played this game, there was usually over 10 afronaters with only Jed and me on the other side.
It was in 5th grade that I played two of my favorite games of all time, Donkey Kong Country 1, and Final Fantasy III (US) for Super Nintendo.
I got Ben into both of them, he might have already been into Donkey Kong Country.
I cried during the sad parts of FF III I recall.
It was in 5th grade that I masterbated for the first time (on a whim, while my parents were gone, without even knowing what I was doing), and also played my first really violent video game (without my parents knowing), Killer Instinct.
I lived behind some tennis courts, so I'd collect the balls that went into the apartment's backyard...and use a bat to hit them back over.
I wanted to my father to play with me, but like usual, he was too busy watching sports and drinking...which is alright I guess, but back then I hated it.
I was kissed by a cute girl in 5th grade, but I think it was a pity kiss for being such a wimp...although she said it was because I was cute.
I remember I was staying at a friend of Ben and mine's, Nick's, house...when I first heard "fucking-a"
I thought it was way cool and started saying it myself, starting my experience with cussing.
So 6th grade...........Star Wars...
I became obsessed with Star Wars in 6th grade. I don't really remember it so will skip to 7th grade.
7th grade, Ben has moved on to fairview for his freshman year...so I made new friends, and hung out with some old. My new best friend, Julian, was kinda like Ben...a bully.
And I was a joker.
And Lars, Julian's friend, was rich.
And Lucas, the computer nerd (who has sold programs for money to Sega at this point), was the lowest in the ranks...
First Julian, Then Lars, Then Me, Then Lucas...then there were two other kids that didn't hang with us but got most of the beatings...Kyle (one of my favorite people to this day) and Dana.
So that was the pecking order...I didn't get picked on that much...and was able to make bad jokes to keep myself afloat....Lucas was able to do to computer stuff for us so got by fairly well, although one time Julian poured his V8 juice all over him...Lucas' V8 juice.
But Dana and Kyle LOATHED Julian with a passion.
I was later known as a betrayer by Julian for becoming good friends with Kyle, who introduced me to Star Trek and whom I introduced to Star Wars and Magic the Gathering.
Kyle and I got really good at Super Smash Bros and would have insane 1 on 1 fights. I was a little better though.
So anyways, Star Wars and Magic were 7th and 8th and 9th grade.
In 9th grade, I attended Fairview, I stopped wearing the boring nerdy clothes I liked, and tried to fit in, getting some Polo shirts and Cargo shorts to fit in as a prep (not that I knew what that was).
I never really fit in anyways, and I was too blatantly nerdy...one girl asked me...and I couldn't tell and still am not sure, but she seemed like she was ok with it but then also maybe making fun of me when she asked...(On Star Wars), "So you have all the movies right?" Me "Yes"
Her "And all the action figures" Me "Some" "And the posters" Me "some" etc... it was pretty funny.
I remember the first Friday I attended Fairview, some seniors spotted me in my Star Wars shirt and made me do 10 pushups...at this time I was still overweight.
So I did my pushups and I found a liking for a girl just a few locker's down from Julian and I's locker, Caroline...But she was a real looker and I was a real loser so I never tried.
I remember in middle school Julian was a different person, but in high school, he bought all the right clothes (which I didn't know what that was yet, although was trying to fit in myself), started weight training with a personal ex seal weight trainer, and became a rather amusing self deprecating bully to maybe something a bit less appealing.
I was still friends with him when him and two other rich kids (my family being fairly poor, especially for Boulder), made so much fun of me that I just never hung out with him again.
So going from straight a gifted student, to middle school slacker, to high school near drop out with a 1.5 gpa I crawled my way to Sophomore year.
Fitting in didn't work so I started dressing like a poser skater...Jnco's and Vans and what not.
I didn't know how to skate though, although I have skated at different times in my life now with varying degress of very amateur ability.
I got into the band Orgy...and then a few months later, Ben and I, hanging out together once again after being reunited in high school...got into...the band that started all my madness...Metallica.
OLD Metallica.
I dropped out of high school about half a school year into my sophomore year.
I kept wearing skater clothes and always had my metallica cds with me, I went to my first concert with Ben...Machine Head, I moshed got kicked in the groin and kept moshing the whole show.
Loved it, couldn't believe it.
Then I got into Pantera, Sepultura and Megadeth, but none of them I liked as much as Metallica (much later in life, and bizarrely, Megadeth became of one of my favorite bands ever...despite me thinking that in a way they really are pretty bad)
Then it was Garage Inc that changed Ben and I's lives once again...an all cover album by Metallica, Garage Inc had covers of both The Misfits, and Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.
I was sixteen, weight lifting, listening to Metallica when The Misfits indoctrinated myself into punk rock. I stopped saying words like "gay" and started saying "lame," questioning that because lame is what you call a disabled person...
Got real PC, dyed my hair wore spikes, and did a non conformist-non conformist punk jacket...
with B-52's, The Cure, and Pink Floyd patches along with Dead Kennedy's and Misfits.
I listened to Jello Biafra and Henry Rollins spoken word like they were gods...and liked their bands as well.
I fell in love with a girl online...a year later, during our first phone call, I found out she was really a gay guy, of the same age, everything about him the same, but a guy.
I decided to meet him...we met but I didn't really have any feelings for him, and I wasn't gay or even bi.
But I got him to apply make up to me...and when I got back from visiting him I started wearing make up.
I read books like The Celestine Prophecy, Conversation with God, The Artist's Way, and the Psychic Pathway.
I was a punk rock transvestite new ager.
And I had started to notice a lotta synchronicity in my life...and I asked god to bring me a soulmate, and that's when I met...when I went back to school for my "Senior"/Junior year.
Alicia Lewis and Alicia Ordal.
Alicia Lewis was my best friend for a while, and I was quite fond of her and her pretty lover, James. I felt a kinship with him and her that I had never really felt with anyone. But I felt a much stronger, and romantic kinship with Alicia Ordal.
I had asked Fate to meet my soul mate, and I had described her...
Likes The Cure, likes cats, pale, honest, etc.
Alicia was all these things and much more.
I fell in love but alas she had a boyfriend when we first met and after they seperated she said she felt about me that, we should be only friends...although when we first met she said she would go out with me if she hadn't already been taken. And I felt that she had a fondness for me...
Much synchronicity, psychic events, and general loving life ensued.
I dropped out and...
But Alicia O. and I never got together...and I was forced to deal with the feeling that fate had somehow betrayed me.
It was also at this time, that I bought my first Bad Seeds album, "Murder Ballads," and my first Bauhaus album, "In The Flat Field," which I got into the first a year later, and the later three years later.
So I took a job to Mexico, where I had to walk, talk, and be all man. And I pulled it off, and when I came back, it was no longer androgyny that I wore, but instead suits and cigarettes, dress shirts and boots, and shiny dress shoes.
I was intending to become butch, for lack of a better turn, thinking that would make me happier...and it did...or at least more content.
So the years passed, album after album, artist after artist...with me dabbling in musical endeavours with my friends, first on piano, then on drums, later on drums and vocals separately.
Never really got the vocals down though but was planning too when all my plans were interrupted at 21.
At 21, just turning 21 I went onto the grayhound bus to visit my friend J...
The bus trip was bizarre...everything seeming to have meaning and one particularly scary moment when a supernatural blue light flashed in front of this one man's eyes...a man I believed to be immortal...it scared the shit outta me.
I was in Seattle, and this is when I started experiencing my schizophrenia...
Then til' the present.
I'll go into the schizophrenic part up until the present possibly...
But for now...
That's all folks.
Current Mood: 
contemplative 
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